3:45 No Sleep
by somatogenic
Summary: If dreams are animalistic and sexual release, then what does Souske's dreams mean?
1. And it starts so innocent

**AN: Short one shot for fun. Inspried by david-ds stuff. Go read his stuff! Now! After youve finished reading mine, of coarse. And reviewing. Anyone who knows the name of the song/band I stole this story title from gets brownie points!**

3:45 No Sleep

SOUSUKE YOU OTAKU Kaname yelled, halisen whirring through the air towards my face. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and I saw it coming, like I always did, and like always, I would choose not to catch the weapon. Or would I?

Catching her wrist holding the paper fan, I grabbed her other wrist and pushed her back, pinned, onto the brick wall behind us. Her sweet, cherry lips parted in a wordless exclamation at my sudden attack. I loomed over her, grinning dangerously. Her breasts trembled with the pumping of her heart, beating like a cornered rabbits. And if she was the rabbit, Id be the wolf, looking down upon my prey with sickening satisfaction.

And I lent down, angling my mouth towards hers, leaning in, closer and closer to taste my prize . . .

Sousuke shot up and out bed, gasping from his intense dream, sweat dripping from his forehead. Swallowing, he bent over, resting his head on his knees, still trying to calm his raccing pulse. The rain pounded on his window pane as he thought about this reoccurring dream.

It was illogical. Impractical. Absurd. Unrealistic. But so real he thought, taking in another gulp of air, running his hand through his hairtoo real. But why? Was the Freuden princible of animalistic and sexual desires being released through dreams? The dream certaintly contained both of those aspects. Was this what he truely desired?

, he thought, shaking his headnot exactly. Sometime during his missions, Sousuke had slowly began to reconize that he harbord certain feeling for his charge, none of them military approved or encouraged. Feelings jepordized missions, made people weak, more supceptible to mistakes, prone to falure. And the last thing in the world he wanted to do was to fail protecting Kaname Chidori. But, obviously, hiding these emotions wasnt enough.

He sighed, getting up from his bed, knowing hed get no sleep tonight. He walked over to his window and pressed his head against its cool, smooth form, watching the rain fall in endless waves.

It had been three years since he had been assigned to Kaname, and they both resided at Tokyo U, even sharing the same dorm, at his request of coarse. Living with someone was an entirly new experience for him, though not displeasing. Not by far. He got to see all the intimite details of her life, got to see her closer than ever before, and their relationship seemed to bloom. She hadnt used the halisen for a while, now, and her violent acts had lessened over the years, as well as her temper tantrums. Not that they didnt happen; just not as often. She had matured into a beautiful young women, kind and caring, happy and encouraging. Though it wasnt like he hadnt changed as well.

With the passing of time, he too had grown maturer and wiser, his assults on the innocent passer bye dramatically dropping as he learned the customs and ways of the common man, as well as learning his own potental. In the military, finding ones self was not pressed, and never before had Sousuke begun to relize that he, him self, had an opion, a favorite, a preference. There wasnt so many orders, now, and he had to make desisions for him self. Nothing based on fact, but based on emotion, a concept new to him. And Kaname helped him along with good grace.

He sighed once more, turning to look over at the glow of his digital clock. 3:45 AM.


	2. and then it got worse

"SOUSUKE YOU OTAKU!" Kaname yelled, halisen whirring through the air towards my face. Everything seemed to be in slow motion, and I saw it coming, like I always did, and like always, I would choose not to catch the weapon. Or would I?

Catching her wrist holding the paper fan, I grabbed her other wrist and pushed her back, pinned, onto the brick wall behind us. Her sweet, cherry lips parted in a wordless exclamation at my sudden attack. I loomed over her, grinning dangerously. Her breasts trembled with the pumping of her heart, beating like a cornered rabbit's. And if she was the rabbit, I'd be the wolf, looking down upon my prey with sickening satisfaction.

And I lent down, angling my mouth towards hers, leaning in, closer and closer to taste my prize.

Their lips caught and there was an explosion of electricity betwixt them. And some force in the back of his mind took over and pushed, tongue sliding, lips gaping. His hands found there way up her shirt and ripped her bra strap, his other grabbing an exposed thigh. She struggled against him, but his power over came her, and soon he had her to the ground, lay atp her, pinning her. She gasped for air as his mouth released hers. Kaname looked at him with eyes full of . . .

"NO!" he screamed, and woke up, drenched in sweat. It hadn't gone this far before. It had never been this . . . intense before. He had never touched her before. Now he was practically . . . raping her. He clutched his head and squeezed hard, as if the answers would pour out if he burst his head open.

Once he had been in Congo, Africa, in a small little village near the south, and he had seen it happen. The village had been targeted by a terrorist group as one of their own (a trader) had been hiding there with valuable information. The turned the village up side down looking for him, and took advantage of the locals. His unit had been too late. As they checked out the destroyed huts for life, he heard a sobbing from one that was still in one piece. A yell of a man voice, a slap, a cry of a female was all it took for his to burst in. The terrorist straddeled the African women's sides so she wouldn't run and had ripped off her clothing, which lay in shreds on the ground. He was forcing himself into her, and she sobbed for her husband and children, whose bodies lay dead, their red blood soaking into the earthen floor. The small hay stack they were on turned red as well as Sosuke shot him in the head, a quick, merciful shot, one that the man had not deserved, and the women cried out more, out of happiness, sadness, or madness no one could tell. He gave her a small sedative to calm her down and took her off. She was bruised and cut all over her frail body, but he could not turn away. This picture had stayed with him though the years and now he felt so . . . disgusted at himself. He was no better than that terrorist with his thoughts of evil ways.

ÔOr am I?' he thought, and his brain reeled.

"Souske?" said a sleepy female voice from down the hall, "are you okay?". Hearing her voice in real life made him jump and make his already beating heart to step up the tempo. Flashbacks of the dream came to him, and, try as he might, he could not make them disappear.

"Yes, Kaname, I am fine," he heard him self say, and listened for her reply. A few seconds later there was a affirmative answer, and a few minutes later, an affirmative snore. He sighed in relief.

Walking to the window as he had done just the other night, he again watched the rain. It was always raining. Endless sheets of water spilling down from the heavens. How he wished it could wash this sin of his away. He felt as if he were the lowest creature on earth. To take advantage of Kaname, to hurt her instead of help her . . . his heart burned in anger. How could he ever think of such a thing?

But the killer to Sosuke was that he enjoyed it. Really enjoy it. The way he had felt her body against his, the touch of their lips, her desperate scream . . . he had liked it. No, loved it.

He had never considered himself to be a bad person. He was the good guy. He saved people. That was what brought him happiness. Right?

**Please review.**


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